How Children Spell Love
by Lenora Jime
Summary: Love at first sight? More like attraction at first sight… "Date me then."/"Wha-? Athrun!"/ "I would carry you on my back… Take everything for granted, its people best at doing… (AU AsuCaga fic, cover isn't mine along with the characters)


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 **Warning!**

 **This is an AU FanFiction, may contain OOC-ness, typos, grammatical errors and a bunch of pointless craps.**

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 **How Children Spell Love**

 **By Ashelia Elnora**

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 _ **Italic – Athrun's thought**_

 _Italic – Cagalli's thought_

…

 _Love at first sight? More like attraction at first sight…_

It was sunny afternoon and like usual I and Jiro, my shiba dog were strolling around our neighborhood. Or should I say running? Because we were more like running than walking leisurely, really. It was also one of my hobbies and since Jiro was an energetic dog too, he clicked with me better than my twin ever was. That's why it was my duty to bring Jiro go out.

Although that day supposedly to be normal one like the routine but apparently there was a slight change. The forever-haunted house, a few blocks away from our home, seemed have its new owner or they might be the true owner who came back home after a long MIA.

I slowed down and stepped closer to the gate carefully. I was curious what kind of people that brave enough to live there. You see, that house was abandoned long before I born or even as long as my parents could remember and that could be more than decades ago! Given that fact, the house supported an old European design with huge garden and two stories building. Actually it was the biggest house around here but since it neglected far too long, it gave away the scary atmosphere with its domineering tendency and wild weds that surrounded the house. But now with the wild weds were gone, somehow the house looked brighter even if the house still looked too old with its broken appearance.

GUK! GUK! GUK!

"Wait! You couldn't go there! Jiro!" I said while running after Jiro that jumped the wood-and-low gate. Seriously what attracted him that much to jump? He wasn't usually barge in other house without permission.

GUK! GUK! GUK!

There I found him barking to a young man who carried a black Persian cat in his arms. It wasn't surprised me that the hissing-cat was the sole reason why Jiro was so jumpy. He was just like any ordinary dogs that had a cat as his long-arc nemesis.

"Hey, don't you just stand there! And get this stupid dog off of me!" said the young man who raised his cat above him so that it would be out of reach while my dog already stood on his hind legs and made the young man as an anchor.

"Um, sorry," I muttered softly out of embarrassment. I guessed I was too long starring him but could you blame me when suddenly there was a blockbuster star landed on country side like this? I mean with his silky blue hairs, beautiful face, flawless skin and perfect posture, he seemed other-worldly.

After some pursuing and a tug war, I managed to drag Jiro off the blue-haired lad and stopped his barking when suddenly another other-worldly creature came out of the house. But now it was a beautiful lady with long flowing pink hairs, a classic heart-shaped face that screamed innocence, spotless milky-white skin and ideal bearing too. What are them? Some freaking vampire's family? Gee, Miri rubbed me off too much.

"Oh my! What a cute dog you have there!" she said cheerfully with her shining baby-blue eyes scrutinizing my frightened dog.

GUK! GUK! GUK!

Even his barking sounded just like an empty threat when my dog stepped back behind me. The lady seemed ignore this and continued her walking to us. I knew I should start apologizing for barge in their house but then again I just experienced a lost word. Somehow their appearance alone already gave off an intimidating effect. What's more with the glaring blue-haired boy and his hissing cat.

"Ah, you must be our neighbor, right? I'm Lacus and that's Athrun with my cat, Haro," she pointed the blue-haired boy and the cat beside her. "We're just moving here so it's nice to meet our new neighbor, maybe we could be friend! You seem around our age too, we could be at the same school too or even classmate!"

While she's rambling on about the possibility of our friendship and all the hardship of moving to their new houses, I could only nod once in awhile and took all the information she blurted out. Surprising fact, they're not sibling just a childhood friend (and here I thought they're like me and Kira) because the closeness between their parents. Another, although they moved together Athrun actually lived at different area opposite of this vicinity and just visited her to help her. And lastly, they would roll to my school this week. I was absolutely sure the last news would throw my school into havoc. They would be the new heartbreakers at my school and perhaps ruling the school too.

…

 _ **When they said that your world only revolved around your loved ones, it's true. Love isn't blind but love makes us blind…**_

It was almost a year since we moved to onogoro, a city near the sea. Sometimes I missed my parent, especially ,my mom and my friends in Heliopolis. Even if onogoro was a city but compared to Heliopolis bustling-city, onogoro still hold tranquility that a country side possessed. Perhaps it was because tourists only came at special occasion or the publicity on their vacation-sites was bad. But once the Plant Resort was done, I was sure this city would become as busy as Bali, Hawaii or any other tropical beach. Actually that's the reason why Lacus moved here, her father would be a director in Plant Resort here. But the reason why I was here while my family in another city, it was because of her.

"Morning Athrun!"

A brown haired guy waved at me and along with him were two girl trailed behind him although only one girl that greeted me. But her greeting was more important than any greeting I received during my waiting at the school gate.

"Kira, I'm going ahead. See ya later!" a blonde girl said to brown haired guy while running ahead of us.

She was that girl. The girl who owned the stupid dog and also Kira's twin sister. It was a wonder to me for some times, they're just different from their appearance to personality (Although if you looked more closely, you could find their resemblance at their facial trait). Kira was my classmate along with Lacus too so it was quite easy and moreover he was also Lacus's neighbor. Even if at first I was quite wary to him, but his personality that remind me of Lacus convinced me that he wouldn't steal Lacus from me.

Alright, I was a bit paranoid there. I and Lacus were just childhood friend, at least for Lacus's part. But for me, she's my long-time crush and since childhood days I always promised my mom to marry her because she was just like my mom. So I just couldn't help it with the rumors going around about the three of us. It always got me thinking that there was a little truth behind that, where would be the rumors started if not based on reality?

Today I made up my mind to confess to her before it was too late.

…

 _No one is perfect so it's impossible if there is someone ends up being no one in their life…_

"I'm home,"

I just managed to drop my bag pack when Jiro rushed to me. Aww, that's what I love about dogs, they're so caring. I was too busy cuddle up with Jiro at the door step that I didn't realize my mother already in front of us with pleading look plastered on her face.

"Eh? But I just got home. Where's Kira anyway?" I whined at my mom because seriously I just got home after long practice at athletic club and she commanded me to buy soy sauce, in another word to go out again.

"Alright then, you won't have your share of _yakiniku_ and Kira isn't home yet," she bargained.

People said I got my father trait but Kira said my stubbornness surely from mom. She was tougher nut to crack.

"Take Jiro with you too, he hasn't got his daily walking."

So I went out unenthusiastically but saw how Jiro waggling his tail, my spirit lifted a bit. Even if it was just simple walk, he seemed too happy. I guessed dogs were just simple creature.

The trip wasn't supposedly taken long but at the mid trip we met unsuspected person. It was awkward to meet him here at this time, wasn't he supposedly to get home already? And what's with his melancholy aura he carried? Not that he usually looked cheerful but this time he seemed more dejected rather than enigmatically melancholy. Somehow I got a bad feeling.

GUK! GUK!

"Um, hello. I just on my way home so bye!" I said hurriedly and then walked pass him with my dog followed suit happily. But before I took step further his question froze me on the spot.

"Do you know that Lacus and Kira are dating?" he repeated apathetically.

I turned to him and let out a big sigh, "do you want to talk?"

After I received a nod from him, we walked to the park across the market and talked there on the bench. I told him everything I knew that even if Kira never admitted dating Lacus, it was pretty obvious to the other eyes. The secretive glances, occasional but tender caresses and the look of lovebirds usually possessed. All the mushy things were there though it was wrapped carefully.

"I don't know how long it goes but I realize it just recently when he starts to lie and takes a habit of disappear to nowhere," _just like today_ , I silently added.

"Two months," he supplied simply. "They told me after I confessed to her."

There was no change in his tone or the look on his face, I guessed he was just so bitter. To have your close friend stabbed you on your back, it must be a real blow. But then again I couldn't blame Kira or Lacus, not because he's my brother and friend but more like it must be pretty hard for them too. To pretend that they were nothing and knew what they did would hurt their friend. I tempted to make him blamed the cupid or any other divine being that twisted his love life but that sounded so outrageous.

At the end I could only keep quiet and listening his laments. Honestly, I didn't know what the best way to comfort a heartbroken man, much more a breathtaking-heartbroken man. I mean no sane-women would reject him if you got this man as your candidate-suitor even some guy would cheer for him. And I hadn't even mentioned the private-club that dedicated for him in our school yet. It seemed weird to see him looked so desperate for one girl. But I supposed the case would be different if he fell in love to another perfect being that could compete with him. I wasn't sure what Lacus saw in Kira that made her to choose him than this perfect man beside me. Love is such confusing thing and I already lost two meat buns to my dog, damn!

"Hey, you don't have boyfriend, right?" he asked suddenly.

I nodded, wasn't sure where this conversation headed. I assumed that he just needed a confirmation that he wasn't alone who being alone in this world. It was kind of comfort to know that, right?

"Date me then."

I turned all my attention to him and dropped my last meat bun which devoured by Jiro with delight. I must be looked so comical that now his lips pulled into grin and his verdant eyes lit up amusedly.

No! There must be a malfunction in my ear that caused me heard things. It was just no way that he… he… asked me out? No wait, did he even ask it?

"Um… could you repeat that?" I asked hesitantly.

"Date me," he repeated way too casual for my taste. "I just thought that being with you would make me accept the reality better," he shrugged "somehow."

Now I knew instead of me, it was him that experienced dysfunctional head. He didn't ask me out but stated a proportion to me, I should feel offended right? But somehow I just pitied him. One-sided love was never easy.

"You know, you were my crush months ago," I sighed softly while leaned back at the bench and looked at darkened sky above. Barely I heard him stifled his gasp. It was surprising, I also surprised how easily I said this long-buried feeling. But then again I was just curious if he would take back his offer after heard this little confession of mine. "Right now though, I don't feel any sappy feeling when you ask me out," I paused and looked at him "is your offer still stand?"

He looked troubled and then turned his eyes to the ground, "I… I don't know," he replied nervously.

Now he looked like a clumsy guy with his fidgeting stance, it was pretty much priceless to have him acted like this. It was cute! There I said it. Who know the ever-composed Athrun Zala has this side in him. If not because of my conscience that felt bad to put him in situation like this, I would be laughing right now.

"I… I guess," he began "if you're okay… then… me too."

There was a slight blush on both of his cheeks when he glanced at me. And at that I couldn't hold my laugh any longer so I laughed like a mad.

"You make fun of me, huh?" he said in condescending tone and threw dirty look at me.

"I'm… sorry. It's just that… you looked like… clumsy guy a moment ago," I stuttered between my snickers.

"Right, it was already late you should go home," he abruptly stood and started to leave the park.

"Hey wait! Don't mad I just cheer you up," I quickly ran after him with the plastic bag in my hand. "Come on, Jiro!"

GUK! GUK!

…

 _ **I'm not sure what I suppose to do anymore. But she is there… and with her I learn more than acceptance…**_

I didn't know that dating her would be this hard. I should have known it, she was the reverse version of my ideal life-partner. She was nothing like Lacus or even my mom at the slightness. And what's Dearka said about boyish girl? They're so wild. She was so wild alright, who would suggest a rock climbing as their first date and if I declined, she resorted doing sky-diving instead. Seriously, dating her required more than nine lives.

I hadn't even reached to 'how protective her brother was' topic yet. Although he had a valid reason to be protective to her and suspicious of me but sometimes I felt irritated by it. Mostly because his action always stressed Lacus like at the first time after he knew I was dating his sister, he punched me and that made Lacus cried because she didn't want to take side between us when we had a fight. A truce only formed after Cagalli beat us to pulp. Few weeks after that we tried to be civil even though it was nothing different if we had cold war, a close and casual chat that the three of us usually had changed into detachment and polite exchange when we sat at the same table. Lacus tried to change the atmosphere with her cheeriness and an easy topic but that didn't help either. Everything almost got back to normal after Cagalli (again) reminded me the reason why I dated her.

Yes, since beginning our relationship wasn't based on love but more like an agreement that granted us benefit. She knew I had ulterior motive for dating her, that's why I felt offended when Kira thought I was using his sister without her knowing. With dating her I could observe them better so I could know what Kira had that I didn't, what made Lacus to choose him than me or how he treated her during their date. Although the last part hadn't achieved yet, because Cagalli always refused to go double date every time Lacus proposed it, as an alternative I stalked them every time Cagalli told me where they dated.

At the end of the day, every time I was done stalking them I would call Cagalli and meet her at the usual park. I would recite how their date had gone and discussed about how I felt about it. I wasn't sure why I needed to tell her all of this, I guessed it was out of obligation since she helped me to know their date agenda and as Kira's sister, she had the very right to know, didn't she? Or perhaps it was merely for my selfish reason that it was a comfort to know that I wasn't alone and even if I was like this, she would always beside me and accept me. Somehow that knowledge relieved me more than any comfort words she could mutter because she never did.

Time passed quickly and before I realized it, it was already more than a year we were together. I wondered if she realized that or not because never once we celebrated it like any other common couple. Although I never bothered to bring it up because I was afraid she suggested something bizarre again. I didn't know when it started but I always got worried because every time we dated, it would end up with her getting hurt because crazy stunt she pulled. Little by little I learned about her more and I supposed it was to be expected since I spent a lot my time with her.

"Ehh, cabbage again?" she whined and looked sourly at her _bento_.

I resisted the smile that began teetering on my lips, "what? I'm the cook here. And not to mention warped cabbage is - "

"Alright, alright, spare me from your lecture chef," she butted in and ate her _bento_ wordlessly.

She never brought food at school and bought it at cafeteria despite how packed that place was during that time. Furthermore the food she usually bought wasn't really healthy for an athletic like her so I took habit to make _bento_ s for us.

Today was like the routine, we ate on the bench at the backyard of our school during the break. There were only little students here since mostly they opted to eat at classroom, cafeteria or rooftop. Here was where we usually talked about many things including Kira and Lacus when they didn't join us. Recently though I rarely brought up 'KirLac' topic again, I just wanted to enjoy our peaceful-eating session. Oddly I felt content with how things going on around me.

"Hey, Athrun," she broke the silence.

"Hmm."

"Umm, you know Lacus and Kira will go out this weekend," she said uncertainly.

I glanced at her and took notice that she was fidgeting a little. Lately she acted weirdly, not that she wasn't weird person to begin with but I thought I just missed something here.

"Oh," I replied uninterestedly. It seemed she hadn't realized I had stopped stalked them few months ago.

"Do you want to go out?"

"If you mean go is to stalk them then no. I have accepted it," I shrugged casually. I was done mourning my lost-chance, it was already too long anyway. Moreover I didn't have any reason to break them off, Kira always treated her with respect and Lacus looked happy to be with him. There was no use to be mad at them, they just couldn't help to fall in love with each other just like me fell for Lacus. It was quite easy to fall for someone like Lacus anyway and I was just one among hundreds of her admirers. Kira was just so darn lucky.

"Really?" she said skeptically.

I only looked at her deadpanned as a response. Seriously, she was just so dense sometimes.

"Then as a test, how about we try a double date with them?" she challenged brightly.

At this I grinned, "Why the sudden change of heart? I thought you don't like do a double date."

"It isn't like I don't like double date, it just that with them I should stand watching mushy thing in front of me," she replied carelessly. "I don't know how you could stand it all this year," she mumbled.

I smiled softly at her although she wasn't looking at me, "alright then, tell me when and where."

At least with Kira and Lacus around I was sure that they would spend the day in normal way even if that wouldn't stop her doing reckless things, I just wanted enjoyed our time together without adrenaline rush.

…

 _At first we all thought we walk together on the same path, the truth is each of us has different path to walk on… it's just inevitable that different path lead into different direction…_

Today was supposedly to be a perfect day to hang out with family, friends or your date. The sun was shining brightly, some fluffy clouds hanging around on the sky here and there and occasional gentle breeze completed the term of good weather. I was ready to go when suddenly my mother stopped me before I reached the door step and then dragged me back with ridiculous reason I ever heard. So now I wasn't sure if I could go while looking like this. It just wasn't me and I bet they would be mocking me like Kira did.

"Hey, Kira!"

I heard Lacus called my brother when we reached our meeting place. They decided to go to amusement park today, it was a common dating place. And because it was weekend the place must be pretty much crowded and there would be a long waiting-line before we could get onto the ride. Oh man, it was a lot of work. I should suggest mountain trekking or something else than this.

"Uhm, Kira… is Cagalli behind you?" the tone Lacus used faltering a bit near the end.

My brother shoulders was shaking a bit and without looking his face, I knew he was suppressed his laughter. So as a reflex I hit him hard at his head.

"Ouch, ouch, stop it!" he said while moved away from me and rubbing his head "it wasn't my fault that mom decided to dress you up."

I just continued hitting him. It was his fault as far as I concerned, if only he didn't blabber out our plan today surely mom wouldn't so excited to doll me up. Even if my mom knew I dated someone, she never had the chance to do make-over to me because I never told her every time I went to date. Moreover I couldn't even say that it was a date since it was nothing romantic but more exploring.

"Don't worry, Cagalli, you look nice," Lacus praised with soft smile.

Watched her smile like that made me stopped and flushed because of embarrassment for acted so childishly. That was the difference between us, even thought we both wore simple dresses but she could carry it more elegantly and made it enhanced her beauty more. Somehow she could make people inadequate without meaning to do so.

Out of habit I began to reach my hairs only to find it tied in tight high-pony-tail, "Uh, thank you." With my gaze still glued to my red flat shoes, I mumbled a "you too."

"What are you embarrassed of? I've seen you in your bikini," the poker-face commented nonchalantly that sent some jaws dropped (except for Lacus because it was uncanny for her to do that).

What was connection between dress and bikini? And for the record I never wore a bikini ever! Before Kira could shout at him, I yelled louder, "THAT WAS A SWIMMING SUIT, DIMWIT!" while lunged at him.

Before I could even land him a strike, he already caught both of my hands rendered it useless and continued laughing. "That's the same thing, right?" he grinned wider.

This jerk was making fun of me and intentionally said that to tick Kira off. And he said he had accepted? "Accepted, my ass," I muttered while struggling to break off his hold vainly.

"Well, your ass is pretty cute, I don't mind," he whispered in my left ear that turned me into boiled crab. This guy was SICK! So I struggled harder that only made him hold me stronger so I stomped on his foot hard and finally he freed my hands. I smirked to see his pained expression.

"Oh, you two have visited the beach already? Maybe we could go there together," Lacus said excitedly.

Lacus's voice reminded me that we had another couple as audience and when I saw the deep frown on Kira or how his knuckles turned white, I winced.

"What did you do on the beach, huh?" Kira said in the most animosity tone ever.

"We just went there for snorkeling. What're you thinking we were doing, huh?!" I defended and glared at him, dared him to say another stupid question.

While Athrun was too busy concealing his laughter, Lacus seemed to pick the situation better and took the role as peacemaker between us.

"That sounds fun! We should try it too, right Kira?" she said while looking at him pleadingly.

"Fine, we could go there another time," he relented. "Let's get in to the park, it has opened."

The day went smoothly regardless of the ruckus at the entrance or the fact that the temperature rose incredulously as the day went and made the waiting ride such a hard task. But even so the three of them didn't look bothered at all and went to one ride to the other. Lacus was the most ecstatic one, she smiled wider and there was satisfied look on her face. It might be because finally the three of them could hang out together like ages ago. Since the day her secret-relationship with Kira got public and Athrun dated me, they never looked together outside the school. Not that she knew that Athrun always went everywhere she went as her gorgeous-creepy stalker.

I purposely lagged behind partly to tied my jacked on my waist, it was good thing my dress was sleeveless and mostly because my ankles were hurting like hell, I was sure that there were scrapes there. For someone who wasn't used to use these tortured-flat shoes, it was no joke. I wondered how Lacus walked on those frightening-heeled sandals.

I let out a heap of sigh before resumed walking towards them slowly. It wasn't like they noticed I was lagging behind anyway. The lovey-dovey couple was so into themselves and Athrun, he could be still felt bitter watching them more closely now but the serene look on him made me wasn't sure anymore. And weirdly I felt irritated by it.

"Wah, how about we eat our launch there?" Lacus said gleefully and ran to one of big trees that surrounded a big lake.

"Sure, we could set up a picnic there," Kira chuckled.

And there Kira and Athrun began unfold the tablecloth while I and Lacus took care the foods. It was an easy job and didn't take so much time or effort. After a long walk, I was quite relieved that finally I could rest my sore feet, who know that leisure walking could be this tormenting.

"I guess I and Athrun could go and buy us some drink, anything you want?" offered Kira when he noticed that there was no drink but a lot of foods.

"I want ice cream!" I said shortly. It was a hot day so I guessed an ice cream would boost up my damped spirit.

"Ice cream isn't exactly a drink, Cagalli," Kira objected.

"Ice cream and milkshake then," I demanded more. I wouldn't back down for getting my ice cream, much more when I didn't have to pay for it.

Kira sighed softly and then turned to his girlfriend, "and you Lacus?"

"Anything is okay as long as it's cold," she replied.

Kira nodded and then turned to Athrun, "Come on Ath- "

"Kira," Athrun cut in "I and Cagalli could go to replace you. So you stay here with Lacus," he hurriedly said and then dragged me before I could muster some protest and only managed to grab my shoes.

When we already out of eyeshot from Kira and Lacus, he stopped at nearest bench. I quickly put on my shoes because the road was way too hot that burned my feet, all the while complained at him.

"Seriously Athrun, what's wrong buying the drinks with Kira? Are you still- "

"Wait here," he commanded and then pushed me down on the bench. I flinched when my scrapes grazed at the back of my shoes and his sudden roughness too. "Uh, sorry," he mumbled shortly "I'll be back in a minute."

He left me at a loss. If he just wanted to buy alone then why he needed to drag me too? Sometimes I just couldn't figure out how his brain worked. As I waited him, I checked how bad my scrapes were because this might be my only chance I was alone. For some unknown reason I just didn't want anyone knew. I guessed it had something to do with my pride as woman, I mean, Lacus seemed fine walking around in her heels and I only wore FLAT shoes, I would be looked so weak that I could even hurt from the simplest thing.

I wasn't surprised when I found there was a slight dried blood on my scrapes, no wonder it was hurting like hell. So I wiped the blood carefully with a tissue I found in my jacket's pocket. I was so engrossed with what I did that I failed to notice that Athrun already towering beside me.

"Here," Athrun said suddenly that made me sprung up.

"O-oh, yo-you're back. That's so fast," I said awkwardly while quickly arranged my shoes back on. But he pushed me back to sit like before though in more gently now then handed me a plate full of ice cream.

"Eat your ice cream while I take care of your ankles."

"Wha-? Athrun!" I kept resisting his hold on my leg unsuccessfully. It was just so embarrassing to see a man kneeled down in front of a woman, much more with holding her leg. What he was thinking! "Athrun, it's okay. Let's get back to Lacus and Kira."

"Stay put, would you! And eat your ice cream. It's melting down a little," he commanded again.

His glare was enough for me to understand that he wouldn't back down, the harder I was struggling the longer this would drag on. So I let him be and ate the ice cream while watched him took care my scrapes. It seemed he not only bought some drinks and ice cream but also a little first aid kit too. I guessed he already knew then and it might be the reason why he dragged me here instead bought it with Kira. Somehow that thought warmed me inside and unconsciously my lips lifted in relieved smile. I guessed even if his attention still embedded on one girl, it was a comfort to know that he still took notice all around him too. At least, he could get along with Kira like before.

"There, it's done. Not that hard to be obedient sometimes, right?" he looked at me, grinned and then patted me like a dog.

Out of embarrassment I threw my face at other direction and resumed eating my ice cream faster. He laughed at my expression and then put on a fluffy sandals on-

"Hey wait! I'm not wearing that!" I pointed appallingly on the dreaded-fluffy sandals while holding one of his shoulders to stop him.

He frowned, "what's wrong with this?" then hold up one of the sandals to me. It was fluffy with pink fur and there was a smiley bunny there, it was looked like in-door sandals.

"It was a STUPID-FLUFFY PINK IN-DOOR SANDALS, YOU IDIOT!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

"Geez, you don't need to shout that loud," he grumbled. "Alright then, since the shoes were out of commission and you rejected the sandals," he paused to turn his back to me "get on."

"What?" I said dubiously.

"I would carry you on my back because I'm afraid that this glass princess could melt on this burning road," he said with smirk painted on his face.

This idiotic jerk! I really wanted to kick him at his ass and sent him to forsaken island or something. All this time I dated him there wasn't a time he let go the opportunity to mock me. I guessed he was still holding grudge against me.

"Just give me the goddamned-sandals," I said through my gritted teeth. As much as I didn't want to wear the horrid-sandals but it was better than the tortured-flat shoes and I knew that this double-date would drag on until night.

The lunch went on uneventful although Kira kept on throwing a question-look at me when we arrived too long for Kira's taste and also the fact that I wore fluffy pink sandals which Lacus wanted to buy. The afternoon was more bearable since the sun wasn't blaring hot anymore. To end the day, we decided riding the Ferris wheel while watching the sunset. The mountains, city and sea, everything looked so beautiful when you could see them all as union and I was sure I would be missed this all. I guessed this date wasn't bad, not when it made me seen something more clearly.

When we reached a four-sections cross on the way home where we usually parted with Athrun, I told Kira that there was something I needed to buy at the nearby market and then dragged Athrun before Kira could retort. It was a lie and I knew there was no one bought it but I just needed an excuse as lamely it was so I had spare time to talk with Athrun alone.

"So do you want to talk?" he asked when we reached the park and then sat down on the usual bench.

I only nodded as response. Somehow I just couldn't trust my voice not to crack.

"From your look, it must be something big. Is this related to what bothered you these past days?"

This was second time he proved himself that he wasn't blind anymore, not that he knew that he tended to be blind around Lacus. Blinded with the deep feeling he had for her, of course. That was why he failed to notice that Kira and Lacus were growing a feeling to each other, something that everyone could see. But now that he had seen better, it was the time. I smiled a little at these thought, I guessed I got no more excuse to delay what supposed to be done. I took a deep breath as I collected my courage to look at him and firmly said,

"Let's break up."

…

 _ **Take everything for granted, it's people best at doing…**_

A week had gone after that fateful night and everything fell back to how it was before… before I dated her. I was back eating with Kira and Lacus, chatted with them, hung out with them and walked home with them. It was as if Cagalli never existed in my sphere. Well, she didn't at first but then after we had dated I thought at least she would still around me like how she usually to be since she was my girlfriend or not, she still took part in my life. So when I spent less and less time with her, I found out that it wasn't right but I didn't know what was wrong either.

At first I thought that she purposely avoided me but then every time I passed by her, she never failed to smile at me or just casually greeted me. She seemed acted normally like she usually did and didn't seem affected with our broke up. Perhaps it was because she had a valid reason to break up. She had gotten a scholarship in athletic academy she had dreamt of. The problem was the academy she headed was in another country. Furthermore she thought that her duty to get me out of depression was already done since I could get along with Kira and Lacus like before. I didn't need her anymore so she thought it was the best to end their relationship now rather than at the very last minute she was here and just left me to cope alone, not that it was like we invested something in those relationship. But at least she wanted us to form friendship before we parted.

Instead of friendship, it was more like distance we had formed. So I had the very right to be mad, right? Between friends there was no distance, was there? Since right now I felt like stranger to her. As result every time I talked to her, I couldn't help to be frowning and there was a hidden resentment I felt to her. Was this because of distance between us? Or it was because something else? I just wasn't sure anymore.

"Hey Athrun, wanna to join us to try a new café at Rouge street?" Kira asked as soon as the teacher left.

"It was a cat café! We could bring Haro there next time," Lacus added beside Kira.

"Uh, sorry guys. I have something to do today," I apologized.

"Oh, about the student council again?" Kira predicted.

I nodded briefly and left them. It wasn't lie but not all truth as well. I just needed to drop some files there since I was an ex-president council, there was still something to be done. But what I did after that had nothing to do with student council. For these few weeks I always went to the roof top to think while watched her training on the tracking ground. I hadn't found the answer for the non-existed question that plagued me yet and I wasn't sure if I could find it alone. So today I intended to discuss it with her personally.

"Eh, Athrun? What are you still doing here?" she said surprised and headed to where I leaned to rack's shoes.

"Student council," I shrugged off. "Let's go, I would treat you your favorite meat bun."

At the mention of meat bun, I could see how her tired face brightened. I chuckled mentally, she was too easy to please but at the same time also difficult if you hadn't known her.

While we walked, she tried to make a conversation to break the silence; it was one of her things that couldn't stand of pregnant pause, moreover if it was an awkward stillness. But since I only gave her a short reply, she got the message that I didn't want to talk…yet. Somehow I felt guilty to ignore her sincere attempt to make us less awkward but then how could you talk with your ex without feeling something?

"Athrun? We're here," she stopped me when I walked ahead without realizing we were already at the place.

"Uh, right. Let's buy your meat bun," I muttered.

I decided to buy many meat buns that she doubted we could eat all of those but I just shrugged it off. I just didn't know how to word what I felt now and I thought to use those meat buns to keep her here… with me. So we settled down cross-legged on the grass in front of river across the meat-bun's booth while munched some meat buns.

"When you go aboard?" I started, my eyes locked on the river, acted as casual as possible.

"After the national exam's done," she said shortly.

"Why you broke up with me?" I said bluntly since I wasn't sort of person that could talk in circle without getting to the point and left the rest to listener to figure it themselves. And I wasn't really cared that she had already given me the reasons, it still wasn't enough.

"What kind of answer you want to accept?" she asked.

I frowned at her reply, I was asking her for an answer not another question. Was she trying to talk in circle with me? She just wasn't cut for that kind of talk though.

"I don't know," I said truthfully "care to enlighten me?"

"I've given you all the valid reasons I could gather but if you wanted the vague one then," she paused to take a deep breath "I don't have enough reason to keep those relationship when I wasn't sure where it headed. So why I need to prolong something that doesn't have any bases at all? I don't like these questions that invaded my mind ever since I realized what we had was pointless."

Didn't have any bases, I could understand but pointless? Somehow it bugged me. "I never think that it was pointless. You helped me and I- " I stopped, what I wanted to say? I owed you? Thanked you? That didn't sound right even though it made sense.

"Athrun, I don't want to be your rebound," she said plainly.

What did she say? Rebound? I supposed our relationship was looked like that but then… did she mean she had, no, has some sort of feeling to me? I knew she had told me that before but I thought it was a joke. Was it her true reason to break up with me?

"I can't continue whatever is this," she whispered then averted her gaze.

The realization always came late, that was why they called ignorance was bliss. But for me it was bitch, I had hurt all around me twice because of my ignorance. I felt guilty looking her bowed down like that but it wasn't pity. I was sure it was something more than that, I just wanted to reach out and comforted her like she always did to me.

"Cagalli, I- I'm not sure where to begin with but- " I paused to see how I said all what I was thinking or feeling right now "I think we could work it out, I mean our relationship, I want it back. And it isn't because I want to use you again, I just want to. About your scholarship, you don't need to give it up, I would go there too if- "

"No," she said determinedly and as I gazed at her, there was no tear anymore. Replaced with a hidden fire in her flickering ember eyes, silently I admired it because no matter how dim the fire in it, I knew it would never die easily.

"You don't need to go there if you don't want to. Don't use someone else to shape who you're," she shake her head "just be yourself, do what you need to but never forget what you want to do."

"I- Cagalli, I- " I was at lost. I wasn't understood what she was talking anymore. What we need to do and what we want to do couldn't walk on the same line, they always contradicted with each other. Sometimes what we need to do sacrificed what we want to do and that could happen on the other way around. What we chose at the end was what mattered. And I chose her, was that wrong?

She grunted softly, "you know Athrun, what I'm afraid of is not that you couldn't reciprocate my feeling, it's the opposite though. Because I'm not sure what's the kind of feeling I've for you… and I'm sure you're asking the same question."

I stilled, she took out the words from my mouth and suddenly I felt frustrated. How could she say all of that so easily? And what she meant by she wasn't sure her feeling? "You said you like me before," I mumbled audibly.

She rolled her eyes before spoke, "well, that was a long time ago when I first met you but… you love Lacus," her tone mellowed down at the last part.

"I _loved_ her," I stressed the word _loved_ , "I've moved on." I frowned so she really didn't notice that I had stopped stalking Lacus or even talking about Lacus when I was around her, she was the one who always brought it up.

"No you don't, if you did that was because you used me as a replacement," she suddenly snapped.

"So that's your true reason?" I said in disbelief. "You broke up with me because you felt jealous," I said sarcastically although that thought made me a little giddy.

"What? NO!" she stood up hastily along with her raising voice. "Where the hell you got that ridiculous idea!"

"It's pretty obvious when you suddenly get defensive," I followed her up and smirked when I watched her glaring at me. I guessed all her calm demeanor awhile ago was just sham.

"Athrun, look here. I'm not getting defensive and the crap you've blurted up," she sternly said but I only grinned smugly as a response. "The truth is I'm not sure what I feel to you, is it pity? Duty? Or just fleeting moment? And that applied to you too, I mean could you straightforwardly say that you love me now? So why are you pursuing this talk?" she ranted as her face flamed red.

"I couldn't say that now but time would," with that I pulled her to me and kissed her surely.

Though at the back of my mind, I mulled over what she said to me. She wasn't all wrong and I thought she did have a point to doubt me. What I felt for her wasn't the same feeling I had for Lacus but that didn't mean it wasn't love.

I withdrew a little with our forehead still touched and looked at her softly, "we isn't sure what the name of this feeling yet but it's there and if you're willing to explore it more then I'm gladly to accompany you."

She gave off a soft chuckle, "how pretty your words are, I won't give up my scholarship… and won't let you stalk me there either."

"We could do long-distance relationship then," I proposed.

She distanced herself to take better look of me. "We'll see if you could," she said with a slight grin but the doubt still flickering in her eyes.

I took her hand and entwined them as a sign of assurance, "only if you give us a chance."

She only shook her head that made me hold her hand stronger but then her other hand reached me in warm embrace which I returned eagerly. This was only the beginning.

***…***…***…***…***…***…***

" _How children spell love?"_

" _ **T-I-M-E"**_

…***…***…***….

A.N :

Children spell "love" … T-I-M-E by Dr. Anthony P. Witham

Ah, I wasn't expected this would drag on this long. I apologized if I bored you to death during the reading, much more with my horrible grammar and limited vocabulary. So if you gonna flame me for that, you have my permit. But of course do point out where I did wrong so I could fix it and learn to.

Thanks a lot for reading this and if you feel I deserve a review, do review please : )


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